A Senior Moment, by John Docker, February 28, 2017

King's Lynn Railway Station

King's Lynn Railway Station

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If the human race is to keep up with all the frenetic lifestyle changes that modern technology brings us, evolution is clearly due for a major Trump-like shake up.

I have previously predicted that it won’t be long before we are all born with barcodes on our foreheads, I-phones instead of ears, roller skates instead of feet and now a new addition by way of a tightly lockable aperture under the nose.

A generation of zipper-nippers is clearly fast-approaching as it becomes increasingly difficult to open one’s mouth without dropping yourself right up to the armpits in a mire of political correctness.

It’s bad enough trying to steer clear of words like immigration, colour, gender, race, old folk, young folk or female body parts, to avoid being called racist, sexist, masochist, misogynist or any other ist come to that, but now it seems words like geezer and pussy are on the hit list and likely to land you in the court of criminal absurdity.

It really is utterly bonkers and if allowed to prosper, never mind the roller-skates, we’ll all need hover-boots with sorbo rubber insoles - to overcome the eggshells!

And while we are in la-la land, the businessman accused by Virgin staff of using a loophole to buy a cheaper ticket, taken for questioning by British Transport Police causing him to miss an important meeting, must wince at the recollection every time he sees the current TV commercial of a young man enjoying prestigious lifestyle rewards of Virgin travel. I’m surprised he could even afford it.

Can anyone explain to me why the train fare costs £356 from Preston to London when it only costs £92.20 from Lancaster – which is 25 miles further? Ridiculously outrageous!

Speaking of high prices I see that smart meters are being blamed for energy price hikes this spring.

Oh well, it makes a change from the remainers blaming Brexit!

But I’m not sure I like the idea of another spy in the house, it’s bad enough with smart TV sets I-phones and computers relaying information back to some unknown data storage warehouse in the sky.

My grandson has kindly added us to his Netflix account – opening up a whole new and addictive fascination with the goggle-box.

But the fact that he lives over twenty miles away and knows what we are looking at it is nothing short of - spooky!

And it’s bad enough with nuisance phone calls and junk mail through the letter-box but I noticed the other day that my computer contains 187 unread feeds from Microsoft ranging from “how to get rid of pimples fast” to “improving natal care in Africa.”

Absolutely fascinating! Why are they sending me this stuff? I certainly didn’t ask them to.

More importantly 
how the heck do I get rid of it?

There’s nary an unsubscribe button in sight.

What’s that old saying ‘these things are sent to try us?’

They most certainly do!