Between the Lines, by Diane Lines, February 20, 2015

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I must admit the thought made me smile – visions of the combined populations of Wisbech and the surrounding Fen areas, all careering off to the cinema, along with their voracious demands!

Are they women, men, or both, I wonder? Perhaps they are members of the WI, who, this week, have apparently caused a storm in another part of the country with a saucy book

which seems to have caused just as much controversy!

I received a very cool response from a certain local DIY store when I asked if, as I had read in the national press, its employees had been briefed in readiness for questions of a, shall we say, personal nature. There was also a possibility of a run on rope and cable ties, and I had a somewhat icy response to the effect that there had not been any particular demand for these.

Personally, all this whipping stuff isn’t really my cup of tea. I am looking forward to the release of another film, about Shaun the Sheep, based on the delightful animated sheep and his pals; which brings me on to a charming event happening locally – lambing at Snettisham.

I went to this a few years ago and was enchanted by the way one little woolly fellow jumped up on a pile of hay bales and played King of the Castle with a small pink fellow with a curly tail below.

Of course the other Valentine/half-term event is the King’s Lynn Mart.

I’ve just walked through there on a beautifully warm sunny afternoon, thankfully proving wrong the saying that it always snows at the start of the mart. I was a little taken aback to see a stall decorated with the virtually naked rear end of a buxom lady (why, on an event designed for families, should this be?) with the motto, “If it’s too loud your (sic) too old”. Hmm, well the music might not be too loud, despite living a stone’s throw away from the Saturday Market Place, but the site of that was a little too loud thank you.

A much more pleasant site was in The Walks where the clusters of snowdrops and nearly-open daffodils provide a much awaited glimpse of spring. Seeing basketball players, galloping dogs and romping children brings a little lightness to the heart after a long dark winter.

So, all you naughty scamps in The Fens – you can have your numerous shades of grey, but I prefer the bright colours of spring set against a blue sky.

Now, I must crack on – Tally Ho!