Big Eye, October 11, 2016

Brexit bus EMN-160523-145531001
Brexit bus EMN-160523-145531001

I’m going to regret this but I suspect the correspondents trying to rewrite the outcome of the Brexit vote had started to direct their baleful gaze at other areas of our political world but no doubt this comment will provoke another flurry of tub-thumping indignation from the characters who believe that Joe Public was either duped or too thick to realise the 
implications of their thoughtless actions on Polling Day.

But you’d think by now that there would be some kind of consensus around how we extricate ourselves from the Brussels bureaucracy and how we, as a nation, are expecting our lovely politicians to carry out our democratic desires. It appears they simply have no clue as to what’s required. “Hard Brexit vs Soft Brexit”? When to invoke article whatever? The banks are getting twitchy, the foreign owners of our car manufacturing plants are beginning to wave bigger and bigger sticks at us and despite the passing of two heavily orchestrated party conferences in the past weeks, it is obvious that the only policy they’ve agreed upon is to continue bickering and running around like headless chickens.

You Voters! With your illogical decisions and your determination to express your ill-educated opinions have left these poor creatures with a mind-numbingly complicated task and they’re not up to it, are they? So, being the craven political nitwits that they are, they’ve defaulted to their factory settings and used this chaos as a cover for internal power struggles. Never mind the task in hand, they’ve taken the chance to sow some seeds of doubt against leaders, briefed against fellow party members and generally rattled cages. Our newly unelected PM has grasped the nettle and thrown a metaphorical spanner into the political works of noisy Tory Brexit Bigwigs by giving them jobs in her cabinet. She herself is suspected of being a closet Brexiteer and looks to me like someone smiling through bared teeth as she bows and curtseys to our erstwhile foreign friends as she meets EC grandees to discuss our ‘terms’.

It’s obvious that the Cameron/Osborne arrogance and their supreme confidence in their own persuasiveness has ruined things. With their refusal to contemplate the possibility of a no vote they decided that an exit strategy was not required, hence we’re plummeting in free fall now.

So, what next? Maybe we should have another vote! I dare bet (some of) my life savings that another session in the polling booth would see a massive swing back to Bremain and we could all contritely return to the ‘same old—same old’ safety net of Brussels bullying that we’d tired of.

But you voters can’t be trusted can you? … it is troublemakers like you who disrespectfully elected to name an Arctic Research Ship ‘Boaty MacBoatface’ and the heroic people of Iceland, who, in another rib tickling moment of anarchic glee, have all but secured power for the “Pirate Party” in their Parliament. Anyone else fancy joining a pirate party? Might keep Mrs May on her toes?