Farewell to my Daddy
Jeremy Norris
BY FRIDAY’S GIRL, ADELE NORRIS
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
If I had a pound for every person who’s said this to me in the last two weeks, by now I’d have enough to cover the cost of Dad’s funeral.
And thank you, but sorry, I’m a little confused. He’s not lost... I know exactly where he is – he’s down at AJ Coggles in Downham Market.
It’s funny how death can bring round this surge of awkwardness in people.
The mumbling and stumbling of words on the telephone, and the lack of eye contact after the delicate tip-toe into a hug.
“Oh look, there’s a cobweb up in the corner. I must have missed it dusting.. umm, ah.. oh, and sorry for your loss.”
There it is again, see?
And then comes the automated response: “Thank you for your kind words.”
After five days of auto-cued Adele, I took a break and escaped to the peace of Sheffield.
That’s saying something in itself. I live with five boys, two girls and two pet degus (rats) remember. At 4am, I felt I could join the squeaking creatures on their wheel for an energetic early-morning run.
Switching off auto-cued Adele for a few days gave me a chance to relax. I think I shocked the unsuspecting students I met one evening after a few drinks when I just explained very matter-of-factly: “No, I’m going home again tomorrow for my dad’s funeral.”
For someone who was suffering with cancer, as I have written before, Dad lived every day like any other, and yes, his death last week was sudden and a shock.
But, as he would have wanted, we have accepted what has been thrown at us. We stay strong and live on.
The best reaction we’ve conjured-up from awkward moments so far was my adult foster brother and I collecting the belongings Dad had on him at his time of departure from this world.
The solemn-faced undertaker took Ross and I into a small office and began listing the items one by one, placing them into a see-through bag:
“OK. So I have here one set of keys, one mobile telephone, one coin holder, one...toy plastic, um, turkey?”
Yes. My dad clearly felt it important to carry around a small toy turkey in his back pocket.
The undertaker wasn’t sure whether to look confused, laugh, or keep a straight face. He went through the process of all three reactions, which created an all-the-more amusing scene for us to watch.
It’s a strange time, and unfortunately some parts of life have stopped. I will not be returning to university yet.
But, as Daddy taught us, we stay strong, laugh at life and embrace it. If we don’t, what memories will we have when we do lose people?
Dad (Jerry) and his famous cowboy hat will always be in our hearts.
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Sunday 27 May 2012
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