Not very British BHS
IN THE week that Marks and Spencer relaunched in Lynn, British Home Stores slashed prices.
They also unleashed on to the High Street the ultimate in finely-honed sales techniques – a man-sized bear/dog/cuddly toy thing to lure unsuspecting shoppers through the doors.
Is it good business sense or is it me being soft in thinking that a spoiler is not quite fair? It's not what we would expect from a firm with the name "British" in its title; it's just not cricket, old boy.
It may have been entirely coincidental that as the wraps were coming off M&S's new-look shop, BHS launched its sale, turned staff out into the street in support of the cuddly whatever and threw open the doors to let shop-with-us music out into the town centre.
Some people may be attracted by this kind of razamataz. It makes me move to the other side of the street and hurry past.
But, more seriously, knowing that Marks (and I'm no more an M&S fan than I am a BHS fan) was relaunching, I would be less inclined to succumb to what I thought might be a spoiling tactic.
They should have called a truce and let M&S have their day.
While I'm on about things retail, packaging gets my goat. Just take a look at the result after my prolonged attempt to get into a vacuum packed, shrink-wrapped drill bit I bought.
On the back was a helpful diagram indicating the top simply peeled away from the bottom. Hah!
The packaging was actually vacuum-shaped to the corkscrew of the drill shaft and so firmly fixed that not even a knife and scissors would release it.
Eventually I released the shank and was at the point of thinking I would have to drive it into masonry with the plastic packaging still attached and let that work the blessed mess off.
All of a sudden it released its grip and pinged off enough to take someone's eye out!
And another thing... I bought a chainsaw which came with a starter supply of blade oil to be poured into a reservoir on the tool. Trouble was the oil had been machine sealed, under pressure, in a polythene tube to be opened with scissors.
You can see what's going to happen, can't you? Right. As soon as the scissors made the slightest nick the oil splurted out all over the place... mainly on me! What's the matter with a little screw-topped plastic bottle.
I could add other seemingly impenetrable containers, such as fruit juice and milk cartons, vacuum-packed meat and fish, heat-sealed packs of screws... I even had some tablets from the doctor packed in foil so strong the pills disintergrated as I pushed them out.
I'm only middle-aged and relatively strong and fit, so how do the elderly, weak and infirm manage?
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Weather for King's Lynn
Sunday 12 February 2012
Today
Light snow
Temperature: 1 C to 4 C
Wind Speed: 13 mph
Wind direction: North west
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Light rain
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