Ruby Tuesday - Mobile number is old friend
Reporters are taught to be economical with words but for succinctness of expression it would be hard to beat the waiter who greeted Ruby’s colleague in a buffet-style Chinese restaurant in London last week. Smiling politely, he said simply: “Cash only. Pay first.”
Three Christmas parties booked for January, say Ruby’s fellow columnists at Market Bistro in Lynn on their Twitter account, “fantastic idea, that’s when we are having ours”, say Richard and Lucy.
How about this for weird. Ruby’s pal, Sarah, from the Corn Exchange in Lynn, took her friend’s phone number and tried to call her only to find that another name flashed up on her friend’s phone when it rang – belonging to people who had moved to New Zealand years ago. After much confusion, it turned out that the couple who had moved to New Zealand had cancelled the number – only for the phone company to reissue it to Sarah! What are the chances of that! Of all the phones in all the world, a number reissued to someone with a mutual friend!
Wanting to be organised, Ruby’s friend asked her three-year-old weeks ago: “So what would you like Santa to bring you.” “A Thomas the Tank Engine present,” he replied. She has been inquiring ever since: “What type of Thomas the Tank Engine present - a jigsaw? A train?” Every time the reply is: “No! A Thomas the Tank Engine PRESENT!” Ruby’s friend is getting ever so slightly panicked that Santa won’t be quite sure exactly what he is supposed to get and could get it horribly wrong.
Now we’re into December, it’s time to start handing out the annual awards and a strong contender for Ruby’s Understatement of the Year award came from the parish meeting over the Sutton Bridge biomass plant plan, where a representative of the developers answered a question on concerns about emissions by saying: “We all produce emissions. Unless we are provided with corks we will continue to do so.”
During a stop at a well-known restaurant chain (the one with the big M and the golden arches), Ruby was amused by her colleague’s son who responded to his father’s repeated requests to go to the toilet with him before they resumed their journey by asking: “What are you scared of then?”
Ruby hears that the esteemed leader of Norfolk County Council Derrick Murphy (boo hiss) is away in Africa. Ruby wonders if he is doing missionary work in the Democratic Republic of Congo or bringing democracy to the Sudan? By the way, his Tory deputy on the county council, Bill Borrett is styling himself “Acting Leader” in his emails in Mr M’s absence which some may deem a little predatory.
Ruby thinks the barrister for Cory Wheelabrator, Richard Phillips QC (don’t forget the QC part as you’re paying for him!) will have to speak up if his arguments are going to sway the 65,000 people who voted against the incinerator. During the pre-inquiry at Lynnsport, inspector Ken Smith had to relay Mr Phillips comments as the hundreds of people gathered to watch the opening scenes due to the poor sound problems.
Further fun from the inquiry included Mr Smith’s requests for how the different parties should label their documents. The county council will be using the prefix N, C for Cory and K for King’s Lynn and West Norfolk Council. Mr Smith had suggested L for King’s Lynn Without incineration. But barrister for the campaign group Tim Leader advised that W would be better as that stands for “Win”.
Ruby was amused to hear that her pal’s retired dad had spent much of Thursday watching/reading about the Leveson Inquiry, by the time her pal had arrived home from work he was convinced the News of the World had hacked his phone and were planning to expose him.
Ruby’s boss found himself roped in to pontificate (surely give informed opinion – Ed) on the Leveson report on BBC Radio Norfolk on Thursday morning. Did you hear him? Ever so good, we thought. It was the first time he has ventured up to the BBC lair on the North Lynn Industrial Estate. Has to be said it makes KL.FM’s premises look like Broadcasting House. And probably one of the harder addresses to find in West Norfolk.
Ruby’s colleague returned home from a weekend away to discover the for sale board has gone missing from the front garden of her delightful three-bedroom (going for a snip at £122,000). Could this be it? After months and months (almost a year) could the property finally have been bought by someone. Oh joy! Aah, quicker than an estate agent can say, location, location, location, she was rudely brought back down to earth when a call to the agent revealed they had removed it as her mum had agreed to go with another agency.
Ruby’s official bête noire Blackie Allan drops another line along with a business card claiming to be Del Boy’s Trainer. What that’s all about we have no idea. “My dear Rubes” he starts, “it’s about time you admitted I got it right long ago when I said you should have a full page. A lot of my mates buy the rag just to read your bits and mine.” Well, thank you Blackie, we think. He then goes on to claim that our readership may be interested to read his cv, which seems to have taken him far and wide. Well, if they do Blackie, we’ll let you know.
St Hilary’s Park? What’s all that about? Although Ruby does not claim to be the fount of all knowledge as far as local history is concerned, she usually has something move about in the back of her brain when a connection is sought. But not in this case. And what’s more she can’t find anything about it on Google. So dear readers, let’s see if you can shed light on why the new retail park off the Hardwick has been so named.
Lucy was to be found having an Indian meal with the children of Eastgate Primary in Lynn on page 30 last week.
She was spotted by eagle-eyed Mrs J Curtis, of West Lynn, who wins £10. Well done!
Lucy is again hidden on one of the 48 pages of this week’s Tuesday Lynn News. Cut her out and send to Lynn News Lucy, Lynn News, Limes House, Purfleet Street, King’s Lynn PE30 1HL. Happy Hunting.
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Weather for King's Lynn
Thursday 23 May 2013
Temperature: 5 C to 10 C
Wind Speed: 21 mph
Wind direction: North west
Temperature: 5 C to 11 C
Wind Speed: 25 mph
Wind direction: North east