DCSIMG

To Be Frank - A washing machine master

This is going to sound crazy, but you’ll be used to that by now, and I hate to disappoint my regular readers – either of them. But this is the thing. I actually like listening to our washing machine when it’s on spin.

Admittedly I never used to – but then our old machine used to sound like a 60-a-day smoker having a massive hack, rather than a powerful and efficient spinner, oscillating ever faster.

And to my amazement, that sounds an awful lot like ... Master Of The Universe, by Hawkwind!

Yes, that is sad and crazy in equal measure, I grant you (but there again, how much excitement IS it possible to get from listening to a washing machine?).

But I haven’t totally lost the plot. If you’re not a major league Hawkwind fan – difficult though that is to believe (cough) – then have you heard that new car ad on the telly? The one by Ford, for its B-Max car? (me neither – I had to look it up, if I’m perfectly honest with you).

The first time I heard it, I was sitting in front of the telly, innocently munching a piece of cake, like you do, when suddenly my ears pricked up. Good lord! That’s Hawkwind! In a TV advert! How cool is that?

Oh, come on – Hawkwind? As in Silver Machine? Never mind, perhaps you have to be a certain age ... (don’t say or crawled out from underneath a certain kind of stone, that’s very unkind).

This band, perhaps I should point out for the uninitiated, were purveyors of what has been deemed “space rock.” This basically means that there were lots of twiddly noises – and Master Of The Universe starts with the sound of what you might think is a spaceship taking off ... which yes, just happens to sound an awful lot like the spin cycle of our washing machine!

Hey look, don’t laugh. I read the other day that the characteristic whooshing sound at the beginning of Deep Purple’s 1971 hit Fireball is actually the sound of the air conditioning being switched on in the recording studio. How very, um, rock and roll.

Hawkwind were the first band I ever saw live. A group of us from school went to see them in St Andrew’s Hall, in Norwich. Would that have been the fourth form, or the fifth form? Not sure, but what I definitely remember was Stacia. She was like an additional member of the band, who used to add visual interest by dancing along to the music on stage.

And when I say “visual interest,” what I mean is ... she used to take all her clothes off. Yes, all of them! Which, let’s be honest, isn’t the sort of thing you’re likely to forget in a hurry.

But what I remember more – yes, even after all these years – is the reaction of one of our party, a certain Phil Griffin. He thought that her performance was unnecessary, and actually SPOILED the show! I mean, we knew he was a bit religious and all that, but hey!

I often wonder what happened to Phil Griffin. Probably a drug baron, or an underworld criminal mastermind, I’d say.

Or knowing my luck, he’d now be the chairman of a multi-national corporation selling washing machines.


 
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Friday 24 May 2013

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