To be Frank
AS I sit in my living room gazing out into the garden, if I listen very closely I can hear the gentle sound of ... birds laughing.
No, I’m not trying to get all poetic on you (“Just as well, because you failed miserably” – Ed) – I’m being serious.
The birds are actually laughing at me.
As we speak, two blue tits have spotted me, and are chortling gently in a tree, a sparrow is rolling around on the ground kicking its little legs in the air, and I swear three woodpigeons have just turned around, bent over, and stuck their hindquarters out in my general direction.
I’m being mocked by a bunch of woodpigeons.
The Sunday before last, I happened to look out into the garden and notice it was completely empty of birds.
“That reminds me,” I thought, “It’s the Big Garden Birdwatch this weekend!”
This is an annual event, when the RSPB encourages people to spend an hour counting the birds which land in their garden, or other suitable open space. This helps them build up valuable data about the different species, and the environment.
It’s a fun thing to do, and I always take part. Why not – you don’t even have to leave the comfort of your own living room.
Last year, I even managed to persuade The Other Half to take part. Sadly, not this year. That might be because last year she spent 60 long minutes staring out of the living room window, and only saw one single solitary blue tit.
There’s a reason for this. Birds are intelligent creatures – they know full well what you’re doing, and out of sheer perversity they suspend their normal habits for that weekend, just for the joy of making you look foolish.
You don’t believe me? Well the same thing happened again this year.
“What have you seen so far?” quipped The Other Half, shortly into my hour.
“Er, just the one ... blue tit,” I reply.
She laughed uproariously. “Was he wearing a badge saying ‘Gotcha!’?” she taunted. “Does he answer to the name of Bert?”
Well, it did get a bit better than that ... but not much. I eventually saw three blue tits, a blackbird, a dunnock and a couple of jackdaws. That may sound reasonable, but it’s nothing like what I normally see in my garden.
I’m working on the theory that Bert the blue tit was the sentinel, watching and waiting for me to start counting, so he could warn off as many other birds as possible.
You think that’s far-fetched? Well explain this: Exactly 24 hours after I started my watch, what do you suppose I saw in my garden? A three-jackdaw fight at the fat ball feeder, which was completely ignored by two woodpigeons on the other side of the lilac tree, while two collared doves were minding their own business on the ground below.
While there were two blackbirds wandering around further down the garden.
And a robin was bobbing about somewhere. And a dunnock.
I wouldn’t have been surprised if a golden eagle and a penguin weren’t lurking about there somewhere.
They KNOW, don’t they? And what’s more, now they know they’ve won, they’ve all come back to gloat!
Well I’ll get them next year – you see if I don’t!
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Weather for King's Lynn
Sunday 27 May 2012
Today
Sunny
Temperature: 9 C to 26 C
Wind Speed: 17 mph
Wind direction: East
Tomorrow
Sunny
Temperature: 10 C to 24 C
Wind Speed: 10 mph
Wind direction: North
