KL.FM Off-Air by Christopher Dean 9programme director), November 24, 2015

Christopher Dean, KL.FM prog director
Christopher Dean, KL.FM prog director
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On the show recently I’ve touched upon the growing phenomenon of the ‘Christmas jumper’.

You may think that the Christmas jumper has been around for decades, and is as traditional as a Christmas Day gruesome murder on Eastenders, or my violent acid reflux at around 6pm on Boxing Day.

And of course the Christmas jumper is indeed a tradition. But as with so many things, they aren’t quite what they used to be and were much better years ago (e.g Madonna and the size of Chomps).

What do I mean by this? Well, listeners to the show may be aware that I like attention to details. I would NEVER say ‘PIN Number’ because the ‘N’ of PIN stands for number, so you’re actually saying “Personal Identification Number Number”. A bit picky admittedly.

So where do Christmas jumpers come in to this?

We all know what one looks like…badly fitting, made from bad material with a dreadful design on it which is more often than not of a Christmas theme.

But traditionally they were always gifts…the joke afterwards being that you always received a terrible jumper at Christmas from a Gran or Uncle and you had to sit there wearing it on the big day because it was a gift and you didn’t want to offend them. A Christmas jumper was always just a bad jumper you got as a present for Christmas – and yet for some reason it has become something you see on-sale to buy in the shops from October.

So if you are invited to a ‘Christmas Jumper Party’ this year, say this ‘Oh when are you having it, 27th or 28th December?’. If they say, ‘No it’s for our Christmas get together on the Friday before Christmas!’, you should say this ‘don’t be so ridiculous! I want nothing to do with your poorly planned and embarrassingly wide of the mark festive socialising’.

It is a risky approach though, be warned. I am now no longer in contact with four former friends such was the passion with which I declared their Christmas jumper party a ‘stupid idea’. But I stand by it.

How though Chris do I still get to take part in jumper based festive socialising without having to make a fool of myself by publicly declaring I don’t fully understand the concept of a Christmas jumper? Easy! If, or when, you are given a bad jumper as a gift on Christmas Day, you put it to one side and the following year dig it out. 11 months later, you can now stay in touch with friends, as they look like fools sat there in what is clearly a new purchase and therefore not technically a Christmas jumper, whilst you have a warm glow from knowing your Christmas jumper is authentic (the warm glow will also be form the thick, thick wool used by your Gran to knit it).

I’m glad we’ve sorted that one out.