During a flick through some of her friends’ updates on social networking site Facebook the other day, Rubes couldn’t help but notice that while her sports mad cousin’s recently posted status was: “Come on, MotoGP,” his wife’s announced they were about to have another baby. Men!
Now, Ruby is aware of the concept of Movember, but there was widespread surprise in the Lynn News office this week when a Movember package arrived from a well-known manufacturer of shaving products – for a female member of staff.
The reporter concerned seemed to think her own “tache” was under control –but was sent a razor set, trimmer and even a mo-comb that rather suggested otherwise. As for Rubes herself, you’ll be relieved to hear she doesn’t plan on joining the Movember craze anytime soon.
Ruby’s brother received an email the other day claiming to be giving him an Asda Direct gift card that could be worth anything from £50 “to, unbelievably, £1,000.”
As he has never even so much as set foot in an Asda store, he thought this seemed rather unlikely.
Then again, it was only the horrendous linguistic crime of ending the email “Your’s” that finally saw it disappearing from his inbox without further delay.
Staying on an email theme, the controllers of the Lynn News newsdesk email received this very tempting offer over the weekend.
It said, and Ruby publishes it entirely as it was sent: “hello my dear
“how are you?, i am zabrina a girl, and i came across and i wil like to have a good friend with you, this is my email id if you will like me to send you my photo ok,”
No, “Zabrina”, we wouldn’t like. Delete.
Ruby was very entertained last week by a tweet from Kevin Holland of The Solar Shed who said her column was not entertaining, but was instead “puerile and irrelevant!”
It’s not that Ruby can’t accept criticism, but she would have thought that a chap from “The Solar Shed” would have had a sunnier disposition on life.
News from over the border now (that’s Lincolnshire in this case) after Ruby heard of the rather unusual response her friend received when she complained about work going on outside her office.
She had popped down to give short sharp shrift to a pair of county council workmen who were about to install a bike rack in front of the office.
Her complaint received the following response from the workmen: “No skin off my nose luv, didn’t want to work on a Friday anyway.” Neither does Ruby, but the editor would never let her get away with it.
And, as if to prove the reach of this column, an old colleague of Ruby’s (from the north) revealed via his Twitter feed that his young son had asked him: “Dad, when you die, will we have a minute’s silence at the football?” Nothing like being prepared, is there?
Now, not much phases our Ruby, but she was shocked on the train back into Lynn at the weekend, when she witnessed a child, who must have been around five-years-old, swinging herself around the carriage from the overhead shelves.
She slumped in a chair for much of the journey and kicked the back of the seat in front - or her family - and shouted at the other passengers.
And what were her parents doing? Well one of them was too drunk to do much more than slur his words and stare blankly at people, shrugging every now and again, while the rest of the family simply ignored her.
During another weekend train journey, Ruby’s friend was amused to hear one end of a phone conversation involving a man who was arranging to drive a group of people somewhere later that night.
The man asked whoever was on the other end of the line: “What number does she live at? Is it 90 or 99?”
Following the answer, Ruby did her best not to laugh too much when he said: “I’m not going to be able to see what colour it is at 11 o’clock at night am I?”
Back to Lynn now and Ruby thought it was nice to see the traditional Christmas trees going up at Lynn’s two market places ready for the festive season celebrations, although she knows very well that some more miserable members of staff do not share her pleasure at this.
But she couldn’t help wondering why a ‘stocking’ was left towards the top of the one opposite the NatWest Bank in Tuesday Market Place?
It has left the tree looking a strange shape with wide branches at the bottom then a lengthy spire at the top. Any suggestions?
Spotted in Lynn town centre on Sunday and recalled here entirely without comment – a man checking the area to make sure he wasn’t seen by anyone he knew before joining his partner inside a well known, erm, specialist shop on the high street.
Some people might think Ruby is going down the pan with this one, but one of her friends (male) would like to recommend, for fun and novelty value, the refurbished gents’ toilets at the restaurant at Norfolk Lavender in Heacham.
Apparently, the theme is rustic and the..er..receptacles resemble posh stainless steel buckets. Ruby will have to take his word for that one.
Finally, Lucy was to be found hiding with the youngsters meetingWest Norfolk’s Mayor Geoffrey Wareham on page 21 of last Tuesday’s Lynn News.
She was spotted by Mrs L Mendonca, of Bird Close, West Lynn, who wins £10. Well done.
Once again, Lucy is to be found somewhere in one of the pictures contained in today’s 44-page paper.
Spot her, cut the picture out and send it with your name and address to Lynn News Lucy, Lynn News, Purfleet Street, King’s Lynn PE30 1HL. Happy hunting.
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