Ruby Tuesday - All change please?

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Ruby is sure it wasn’t just her who decided that rummaging through a River Island sale rail which had a sign reading: “Items on this rail previously available at the higher price in 10 of our 222 stores” wasn’t really worth the effort. Not quite the bargain she was looking for.

Ruby’s friend raised a laugh when it was revealed that she had gone into a shop and asked for a red bulb for her brake light.

Confusion reigned in the newsroom on the sight of an email headed: “Ensure your workplace has a competent person.”

Questions about who could possibly qualify for such a description were ended when it became clear the email referred to the dreaded health and safety.

Ah, now while we’re on the subject of competence, readers Mary Howard and Barry Flatman have quite rightly pulled us up on the “What’s the worst roads” horror which appeared in this column last week.

However, Ruby isn’t sure the slap on the wrist suggested by Barry as a punishment for the culprit is allowed these days.

Ruby was slightly worried about the colleague who declared the other day that Torquay was in Japan. She naturally remembered it as a rather nice part of Devon when she visited last.

After using a well-known internet search engine to research pins and needles in her feet, Ruby’s sister began to convince herself that she could have a major health problem.

She visited the doctor, who asked to her walk away and walk back and then diagnosed that she walked oddly in her flipflops which when she relaxed would bring on pins and needles.

Waiting for Ruby when she arrived in the office yesterday was the following note from Pamela Gibson, who wrote: “Driving into Lynn today (Saturday), as I passed the old Pilot Cinema I noticed a sign with a web address on saying “The Best of King’s Lynn”.

“What must visitors think as they pass it? They must wonder how much worse Lynn gets.”

Do you know of any more embarrassing signs around Lynn? If so, email

At the end of a rather uneventful train journey from London to Lynn at the weekend, Ruby’s brother was slightly confused by the automated voice who told passengers to “all change please.”

Given that Lynn is, as we know, the end of the railway line, he wondered whether he was expected to turn round and go back to where he had just come from.

Finally for this week, and for those readers who were expecting to find details of today’s Lucy competition and last week’s winner here, Lucy has now moved back to her old home on page 2.