The Big Eye, January 5, 2016

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2016 has finally arrived, and apart from warm turbulent weather and the catastrophic washout up north it has all the makings of a vintage year. I thought about writing up a skewed resume of 2015 and condensing the past twelve months into a few sour outpourings and ill-researched facts..but I’m not going to do that! Instead, I have decided to take my cue from Nostradamus and make a few grumpy predictions about the New Year.

Before the month is out, the weather will violently switch from the current balmy conditions to a series of sub-arctic blizzards that will cause the price of my heating oil to rocket and offer further irrefutable proof to the experts that we are heading for a globally-warmed Armageddon, or a new Ice Age. Either way, the blue-tits mucking about around my nest boxes are in for a bit of a shock.

A high-ranking politician with noble ancestry and educated at an expensive private school will be found lacking in terms of either moral fibre or financial acuity and will, once again, bring disgrace and opprobrium to Parliament. He (or she) will probably have close links with top-drawer heads of Government and will be ‘encouraged’ to resign to spend more time with their family.

Overpaid and underperforming heads of our local health authority will either be required to fall on their gold-plated swords for utter incompetence or resign to take up an even more lucrative, but similar post with another health authority desperately seeking a Chief Executive as their own top dog heads for pastures new on the NHS Chief Executives gravy train.

Jeremy Corbyn will continue to remain aloof and oblivious to the desperate backbiting and brown-nosing maelstrom which seems to have become the only reason we show any real interest in his party and at some point this year he’ll crack and actually face cameras and tell us all exactly what his particular version of Labour politics would mean for voters.

On the other side of the fence David Cameron will continue to tell us what he imagines we want to hear and remain equally aloof and out of touch, relying on sound-bite statements based entirely upon the advice from the people who, unsurprisingly, come from the same privileged background as himself.

Despite assurances that military activity in Afghanistan will only be on a superficial ‘management’ level, the situation will worsen and once again, the casualties will start rolling back to Brize Norton and the ghastly cycle of injuries and deaths will resume.

And finally, anyone in the public eye who expresses a radical or controversial opinion that isn’t in line with the current dictats of the ‘thought police’ will find themselves routinely and publicly castigated for lack of judgement and sensitivity.

I believe an individual’s right to express any opinion is a desperately important sacrament that we have always fought for but I fear that this particular freedom may come under Government scrutiny in 2016 and will need your protection.

Happy New Year!