I note last week’s letter from a Tod Bradbury who writes as campaigner for Animal Aid and asks us all to spare a thought for the vermin preparing to enter our homes for the winter for shelter and a few morsels from our larders to help them survive and presumably breed through the colder months.
He goes on to suggest they can be ‘discouraged’ from entering or maybe persuaded to leave once they and their grubby little cousins have moved into my kitchen. Now, it would be fair to say I’m not keen on any kind of animal cruelty but are these people seriously suggesting rats and mice scuttling about in your loft and under your floorboards are going to be put off by the contents of pamphlets issued by these deluded people? Once Mickey or Johnny Town mouse shows his hand in this household and starts defecating all over my crunchy nut cornflakes and nibbling my cheddar he can assume he’s declared WW3 and triggered a war of attrition than can only end one way. If there was a way stopping the little blighters without killing them I’d do it – and don’t suggest the live-catch trap that allow you to release the horrid things back into the wild. That way lies madness but potentially an interesting example of perpetual motion. Unless, of course, you’re releasing them on Dartmoor or Skye! They run back to the nearest house and the cycle starts again. Sorry Tod, there’s a limit to my compassion for these little animals and if by any chance they can read, Be ware Mickey et al for the avoidance of doubt we’re taking no prisoners in this household!