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Coronavirus: BOGOF, I'm not a panic buyer

Flight of Fancy column, by Elaine Rix-Clark, Friday, March 13, 2020

When I went to work last Friday there were 114 cases of Coronavirus in the UK, when I returned home the figure had jump to 373 and is rising.

The news keeps telling us this is the calm before the storm.

Coronavirus: People have been stocking up on tissues and hand sanitiser
Coronavirus: People have been stocking up on tissues and hand sanitiser

My hands are sore, dry and cracked from the constant washing and applying sanitizer and I am continually finding myself touching my face or rubbing my eyes I can only hope my hands are clean enough.

I think I might have to start sitting on my hands to stop me doing this!

Apparently we touch our faces more than 2,000 times a day.

Given what I do for a living I feel that there is a really good chance that I will have to self-isolate, which I hope will only be a precaution.

Realistically if I have to do it I think he who thinks he is in charge will need to also.

As someone who finds it near impossible to sit and do nothing I have started to prepare for this event.

So far I have ordered all the summer bedding plants which then can be potted on, new shrubs to replace ones that are past their best or outgrown their position.

I will put a chair in the greenhouse in case I need to take time out and have a quiet cup of tea or a large gin. Could also use this chair to banish the painter to when he annoys me!

Paint has been purchased so he who thinks he is in charge can decorate.

His favourite beers have been purchased as a bribe to get him to do the decorating and also as a reward for doing it. I must admit I have also topped up the wine racks and made sure we have plenty of mixers for the gin.

I have stocked up on batteries because I think the remote controls will be getting a lot more use. I have given in and subscribed to Netflix.

Enough cleaning products have been purchased to do the spring clean twice!

I don’t enjoy a supermarket shop, does anyone?

I have never mastered the art of the online shopping so I have always done a big shop once a month. The person on the checkout must think we are a family of six not just the two of us.

Last Thursday was the dedicated once-a- month big-shop day. I only have a small car so shopping always ends up on the front seat.

Off I go to the local wholesaler in Lynn to stock up on catering size washing powder, fabric conditioner etc. The toilet rolls are always on offer, a pack of 24 buy-one-get-one-free, so they go in the trolley. The toilet rolls end up on the front seat.

On the way home I decided to get my car washed at the hand car wash place in Middleton, and they did an excellent job.

As the gentlemen were polishing my car the radio presenter is reporting on how the supermarkets shelves are empty of toilet roll because people are panic buying.

I then notice four pairs of eyes staring at the mountain of toilet rolls on the front seat.

I fought the urge to shout they were BOGOF. I am not a panic buyer, I just hate shopping!

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