I got chased by a hillbilly with a chainsaw and I liked it
PrimEvil is hidden in the depths of Lenwade, near Dereham. Pulling up to the entrance, a Halloween appropriate mist, disguised hidden shapes in the undergrowth.
Already creeped out, I wondered whether a scary experience was waiting for me, but I was informed they were just the fake dinosaurs of the dinosaur park, Roarrr!
After the stega-scary fake dinosaur moment, it was time for the real haunting to begin.
Ushered into the event by a hungry zombie and an expressionless, blood-splattered clown, I was impressed how well the actors managed to stay in character.
The park is split into five haunts; the Crypt, the Infected Insanitorium, Circus of Terror, Mayhem Manor Hotel and Route 666.
Patrons can enjoy a drink before they go in (they might need one) at a selection of bars, stalls and kiosks including Norwich's The Junkyard.
The atmosphere in the bar area is cosy and autumnal, with low lighting and eclectic decor, in stark contrast to the horror mazes.
I chose Circus of Terror first, thinking it would be "horror lite". Alas, I was mistaken.
Within seconds I was screaming my head off as clowns jumped out from hidden crevices.
To get away, the only option was to squeeze through a tunnel, and into a ball pit with an inflatable floor.
Once you have awkwardly bounced to the other end, both laughing and screaming you will find yourself navigating a series of tunnels.
The lighting is spectacular and really adds to the nouveau-circus terror effect, made popular by American Horror Story.
Once you have completed the maze, and your heart rate has returned to normal you can choose from four other equally terrifying options.
The Crypt, with a very friendly zombie groundsman, saw me squeezed into pitch-black tunnels that became narrower the deeper into the crypt I went.
"What would Buffy do?" I found myself reasoning, as I was confronted with dead nuns, trick floors and screams from the girls behind me.
The infected Insanitorium was the one I was dreading most, and felt particularly apt for the Covid-era.
Wearing headphones in the style of the silent disco I starred in my very own five-minute zombie flick.
It felt pretty awesome to be running through the strobe lights and the smoke (with two very kind girls who took pity on me for being alone) while 'infected' nurses and doctors attempted to eat me.
The Route 666, which was reminiscent of films such as Wrong Turn and The Hills Have Eyes, was very impressive.
With a hood over my head, stranded in the 'hills' a hillbilly campfire awaits, complete with a crazed, caged sibling/cousin and a hungry cannibal with a chainsaw.
I was chased through the undergrowth with a very real sounding chainsaw.
It was great, I survived, fulfilling the fantasies of my B-movie dreams.
PrimEvil exceeded my expectations and I would recommend it for any horror lover; the actors were chillingly good, scares came at unexpected moments throughout and the mazes are decorated authentically.
A scare-tastic event to trick or treat your family to this year.
The manor was last on my list, and had the longest queue - but I won't spoil that for you, you will have to find out yourself what's behind the doors ...