In a tights spot or 2

Tights. It’s a real dilemma when to wear them in this inconsistent autumnal weather.

The temperature in the morning is often different to the atmosphere in the afternoon.

My friend recently had a wardrobe cull and threw away all her pairs of tights. You know the ones, too baggy, ones with ladders, holes in the toes, brown pairs bought by mistake because the shop lighting was too dim.

She disposed of them during a particularly sunny spell but then the weather turned for the worse one morning and she was left sans tights. Not an ideal situation if you haven’t fake tanned.

My grandma used to give words of wisdom. She was a woman of few words, and in between smoking her pipe and billows of smoke, she would emit a nugget of information.

There is no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable clothing.

I remember back in the day a man telling me he thought I had great facial expressions. As a chat up line this was refreshing and I thought what an interesting chap he must be to come up with that blinder.

It turned out he had just been released from prison for armed robbery.

He too had a similar dilemma about tights, though he wore them on his head to cover his face.

10 denier means you can see some of the facial features when robbing a bank so they are not the best to use.

Thick and woolly cause heat problems and sight issues unless the eyes and nose are cut out for optimum robbery opportunities.

Witnesses with a good knowledge of hosiery can spot his MO a mile off.

Yes the robber had a penchant for a knee high in his stick up. In fact it was a stick up and he was wearing a hold up.

There is always a lesson to be learnt in life.

For my friend she now saves her pairs of tights and puts pot-pourri in them as a scent bag for her wardrobe and sock drawer.

Food and clothes banks are a necessary part of society now so I do try to recycle clothes.

Throw-away fashion has its consequences on our economy and on our planet. Conscious clothes buying is an important factor in promoting sustainability and being aware of green issues.

I am not advocating armed robbery. He is a reformed character now and only uses tights for a broken fan belt (in his get-away car) or as a storage solution for garlic.

It makes a novel kitchen decoration Nigella would be proud of.

I am as surprised as you that he might use tights for this. My facial expression says it all.