Little Loan will always be a part of Swaffham family after painful King's Lynn hospital experience
Having a baby born after just 20 weeks then not knowing what the gender was proved to be a difficult experience for a Swaffham couple.
Marcie Loan and her husband Mike named the baby Little Loan, and continue to hold her close to their hearts since her passing at Lynn’s Queen Elizabeth Hospital in December 2011.
Having not known the gender of the baby until three months afterwards, the couple decided to call her Little Loan as that’s what she was affectionately called whilst a ‘bump’.
The mother has given a memory bear to each of her two sons, Barnaby, nearly 4, and Alby, 16 months, to remember their sister, while Mrs Loan continues to wear a necklace all the time which is dedicated to Little Loan as it has her hand prints imprinted on it..
Marcie said: “She [Little Loan] will always be talked about with them [her sons] as it shows how much we went through to get them and just how wanted they were.
“Myself and my other half have been together 16 years, I had a miscarriage in 2008 and Little Loan in 2011 so it took a long time to pluck up the courage.
“Losing a child is such a taboo subject. When it happens, you feel very isolated so I am always very open about it.”
The Loans did not have a specialist nurse or maternity midwife due to Little Loan being over 12 weeks but under 24 weeks.
The mother said: “The district nurse we had was amazing and I can’t fault her but she was not trained so it was a very weird situation as she had no connection to the maternity suite and the ward Little Loan was in was not a maternity ward.”
Mrs Loan is fully supportive of the Queen Elizabeth Hospital’s fundraising plans for a new dedicated Maternity Bereavement Suite, which requires a target of £185,000 to be reached before construction can begin.
The plans for a separate facility away from the Waterlily Birth Centre was voted as the Lynn News Charity of the Year by readers.
On the suite, Mrs Loan said: “It’s having a space that is considered and set to support those people who lose a baby. A reflective and supportive room for your memories of that baby is really needed as those moments are the only ones you will ever have.
“Having a specific room means everyone is more aware and it makes it easier for somebody not to misread the situation.
“If the only memory you have of your baby is in a sterile hospital room that is quite uncomfortable. You think of all the colours of the world you will never see with them [baby]. Having a room which is beautiful and thoughtful creates a really nice memory in that situation.
“It’s very difficult and you will never get it right for everyone but most people would rather it was a room separated from other people.”
To donate to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital’s Maternity Bereavement Suite cause, visit the Just Giving page online at www.justgiving.com/fundraising/qehmaternitybereavementsuite .