Swinging club in Setchey sheds new light on polygamy
-All names have been changed to respect the privacy of patrons-
Over a decade ago, legendary television documentary maker Louis Theroux did an infamous documentary in America on swinging and it raised some eyebrows.
However, in 2021, polygamy has become more normalised as shows such as Sister Wives take to airwaves?
While hardly considered the norm, more people have become more bold in expressing their polygamous relationship dynamic, insisting that their lifestyle is just as fulfilling, if not more so than a monogamous partnership.
And that revolution has come to West Norfolk. In fact, it has been here for quite a few years.
Joining a popular swinging site to find a sex party, within a matter of minutes my inbox was flooded with images and messages.
Upon finding a party and being added to the guest list, I began to scan my wardrobe for something suitable.
The dress code was 'as sexy as you dare'.
It was on a rainy Wednesday in December, when a friend and I pulled up to the sex club in Setch (which looks like a warehouse/bungalow hybrid).
Festive lights adorned the outside. For a Wednesday, the parking area was surprisingly full.
I nervously necked a beer before entering.
Me and my male colleague companion were greeted by the host – who we will refer to as CJ.
She seemed warm and friendly, with a smile that immediately put me at ease.
Upon entering the 'social area' we were met with couples of all ages and sizes.
Some were dressed in provocative lingerie, others were in regular clothes. Pop songs were playing and a lot of the patrons were nursing a can of Pepsi. To my considerable relief, no one was snorting cocaine off of someone's back, nor were there people tied up in chains in the corner.
The inside of the club had a warm, homely vibe, Indeed, if it wasn't for the strategically placed BDSM (bondage) stuffed animals, I could have mistaken it for the local Conservative club.
The lighting was low and there were comfy seats. Small bowls full of chocolates were laid on each table.
Rita gave me a tour of the establishment. She was a very attractive woman with impeccable make-up and a cute Ms Claus costume. She seemed easy to talk to and confident.
“This is the dungeon,” Rita nonchalantly announced, as she explained the clubs rules. The 'dungeon' was almost completely dark, BDSM paddles and other paraphernalia lined the walls. There was a very large bed in the middle.
“This room is good for newcomers,”Rita explained, “It's much less nervewracking doing it in the dark.”
I was interested to see what the club's policy was on safety. I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was all about consent. The word 'No' was very important and the use of condoms essential.
“If anyone tries to touch you and you don't want it – express that you don't want it. It's all about consent and trust.” said Rita.
Sex is referred to as 'play' and if you want to get jiggy with someone you ask them if they want to 'play'.
Outside in the smoking area we got talking to some people.
There was a couple called Cherry and Harrison, who had never been to a sex party before.
I asked them what they expected from the night and if jealousy was an issue.
“We are just here to see what's going on. Everyone seems friendly, it's not what I expected.” Cherry said, as she stood in a sexy black basque. “I'm a bit worried about the jealousy.”
Another woman called Dorian, who is seasoned veteran on the swinging scene, confessed she met her now husband at a different sex party.
“We've been together four years. He doesn't often play, a lot of the time he just likes to watch. I love coming here- I feel like no one is judging me. Being desired by other men is the best feeling.”
Grayson was there on his own. “I'm not sure why I come,” he admitted, “I've been a handful of times. I'm not sure it's for me, but it's interesting and it's quite social. I would like to come with someone though, it's a bit awkward being surrounded by couples. Yeah, I've played a few times, it's kind of like live porn for me.”
Jules and her husband have been on the scene for a while.
“We go to clubs in London. It brings us closer and he's a great husband.”
As the aforementioned 'play' began, I was greeted with a scene I hadn't witnessed outside of porn. A woman was lying on a bed, being 'entertained' by several different men at once. Voyeurs gathered round to watch the show.
In another room, four couples were on a bed, enjoying themselves rather loudly.
We later saw Cherry with another woman, her husband Harrison attempting to service them both at the same time.
“She's found her feet.” Harrison grinned.
Dorian was dominating a gentleman in the dungeon, while her husband sat in the lounge sipping a Fanta through a straw.
Most people there were married, some in a relationship and there were a few single men. The conversation wasn't always about sex, in fact it was just the kind of normal conversation you would expect at the pub.
I can certainly say that this scene is not for me. Call me a romantic but I kind of believe sex is ideally a romantic expression of love that can only be enjoyed in intimate surroundings, not surrounded by strangers.
However, different strokes and all that ...
At that point colleague and I in the best traditions of British journalism made our excuses and left.
As I went all I could think was I'm glad I'm not cleaning this mess tomorrow morning!