West Norfolk councillor Jo Rust hopes council will have signed up to become White Ribbon accredited

It’s Independent councillor Jo Rust’s turn to write this week’s Friday Politics, and this time she’s discussing the White Ribbon campaign…

On Monday 25th November it’s White Ribbon Day. A White Ribbon is the globally recognised symbol of the campaign to end men’s violence against women and girls.

This came about after a massacre in Canada on December 6th, 1989, where 14 women were murdered, and another 10 women and four men were injured.

The perpetrator of this crime had deliberately and systematically targeted women and girls. The four men who were injured were what is now known as collateral damage.

The massacre took place in the name of “fighting feminism”. As if being a feminist and wanting the same rights as men means that what’s intended is to take the rights that men already have and to diminish or remove them and because of this, women deserve to die.

It’s a really emotive subject. The ‘Me Too’ movement was in response to women coming forward to reveal that high profile and very powerful men had sexually assaulted them.

This then saw a counter argument of “not all men”. Women know it’s not “all men”, but if men were shown a room full of snakes and told that “not all” of them were venomous, they’d be cautious about going into that room.

Well, that’s the daily lives for women. And many women, too many women, not only face the threat of sexual harassment in the workplace (3 in 5 women have experienced sexual harassment, bullying or verbal abuse in the workplace [TUC 2023]) and outside of the home (70% of women say that they have experienced sexual harassment in public [APPG for UN Women 2021]) , but are at risk of violence in their own homes (1.4 million women experienced domestic abuse in the year ending March 2023 [ONS, 2023]). The home which is meant to be a sanctuary and a safe space.

This year’s tag line to the White Ribbon campaign is - “It starts with men”.

On Thursday 31st October, the day before this column will be published, there’s a motion being proposed by Labour Cllr Alex Ware, seconded by Liberal Democratic, Cllr David Sayers, asking that our council signs up to work to become White Ribbon accredited organisation (a White Ribbon motion was originally submitted by Cllr Joyce in 2023, who agreed to withdraw it to allow for clearer articulation of the intent).

I’m desperately hoping that when you read this, your elected council representatives will have made the decision to work to gain this award, which takes three years to achieve.

The reason that there is concern that it might not happen is because of the predominantly male, opposition to the term “toxic masculinity”.

It appears that some are taking this term to be negative against “all men”.

It’s ironic but following on from the question that I was asked - which was to take out the phrase “toxic masculinity”, I asked a man, Cllr Sayers, to explain why it should remain.

The voice or opinion of men is given far more weight, status and gravitas than the voice of the woman, so, as a woman, I called upon the support of a male ally.

Despite many saying that men and women are equal and we should stop all this feminism nonsense, a male voice on the subject of violence against women, is given greater credence than a woman who either has or will, experience this.

Cllr Sayers articulately explained that the term “toxic masculinity” harms men as well as women.

This is because it denies men the right to be emotional, as if emotions are bad or harmful.

It expects men to suppress their emotions, which is why we’ve seen an increase in male suicides and the need for stronger and better mental health support for men.

I believe that one of the roots of this problem is the objectification of women.

Women and their bodies can be purchased over the counter in the way of pornography, as well as actual human women and girls via trafficking (and men and boys too, I know) and sold freely and easily.

Objects have no feelings. They can be broken and smashed and treated badly, after all, they have no feelings or emotions.

If me or you get cross and frustrated and smash what we view as an object, that object doesn’t feel pain.

But when actual human beings – women and girls – are seen as objects, then the men who buy and sell them will feel free to abuse them and domestic violence and abuse will continue.

Understanding what toxic masculinity actually means will help men break free from the unrealistic demands that are placed upon them.

It’ll mean women will be viewed as equals, deserving of promotion – currently men are promoted on potential while women are promoted on performance.

It will mean that our society doesn’t miss out the skills, talents and economic performance that women contribute.

Fingers crossed that on Friday our council will have agreed to become White Ribbon accredited.